Report and a Confession (Private)

[Faye]

Rai didn't take any notice of each of their expressions, he kept his eyes on the wall behind the three of them, looking at the blankness of it, maybe it needed spicing up or something? Some posters... or some paint, he wasn't sure, either way, he hated his room. It was so bland.

He didn't answer when Kyerin requested they look into it, Haruka did that for him. Of course she would be standing so close to him, hmph. His little argument with himself within his mind was leaking out onto his facial expressions. What if Haruka just did what she did that night for the sake of their cover? What if she was just saying she liked it? What if he never had a chance? He probably didn't, almost every girl turned their heads when that thing over there walked through the halls.

Gah.

"Alright, bye" He said, using that same monotoned and bored voice, he picked up his bag and left the room.

[Nicolette]

Haruka turned her head in Rai's direction again as the boy stood from his chair and picked his things up without hesitation. He bid them a farewell and just left. Stunned, Haruka's eyes widened and she was frozen for a moment before the frantically went to her things. She shut down her laptop and shut the briefcase before she threw her backpack onto her back.

She rushed out of the office and looked down both halls. She saw Rai's back and quickly rushed down the hall to catch up to him. Once she was close enough, she stopped and she called out to him.

"Is something the matter, Rai-kun?"

[Faye]

Rai had abruptly opened the door and nearly slammed it behind him but he just let it go instead of trying to close it. His footsteps were quick, brisk, as if he wanted nothing to get out of there. He then heard someone else's footsteps exited the Student Freedom Force's office, he contemplated glancing behind him but he knew it who it was. It was Haruka, she was a girl, her footsteps were softer and more delicate than Kyerin's would be. Her's were elegant and graceful, like her appearance, like her entire self, she was so... beautiful and perfect.

He wanted nothing more than for her to see how much she meant to him. Kyerin was on her mind, though...

She then spoke, he clenched his fist a little, trying to stop himself from breaking. He would not break. He'd gone through worse. He stopped walking, slowly turning his head too gaze back at her, he nearly melted. How could he be... mad at her? But she...

"No, nothing's the matter." He said, his voice wasn't so monotoned but it was easy to see he was lying.

[Nicolette]

When Rai turned around, the last thing she expected to see was anger in his eyes. It quickly attempted to disappear, but she was able to clearly see that something was troubling him. She took a hesitant step forward, reaching out her free hand to rest awkwardly on his arm. She felt so numb inside, but she truly wanted to be concerned for Rai's wellbeing.

"You're lying to me..." She said softly, though her voice didn't raise in emotion.

Rejection was replaying over and over in her mind. Each time was like a stab in her chest. She tried to block it, but it kept slipping deeper into her mind and threatened to tear her apart right in front of Rai.

She could not break yet...

[Faye]

Every time he glanced back at her, every time his eyes met with hers, it tore him up to even think about being angry at her. How could he be so angry with someone so perfect? How could he... He always melted into a pool whenever she was around, whenever she spoke, whenever she even made the effort to look back at him.

He turned his head so he was facing the hall way that was flooding with students near the end of it, their conversation might end up being interrupted but he was sure they would probably be heading towards the cafeteria to eat... it was lunch time. He was feeling hungry, too.

She saw right through him, too, though, it was hard for him to keep it from her, he found it hard to lie to Haruka, or if he did lie to her it was easy to see. He swallowed, turning his body around to face her, he saw the numbness in her eyes, followed by the pain she must have felt from being rejected.

Why did she need him, anyway? She had someone who cared for her and who would always be there for her right in front of her...

"W..why..?" He couldn't bring himself to ask the full question. Kyerin... what did he have that he didn't? Well for one, he had a lot of girls who liked him.

[Nicolette]

Haruka could see the pain in Rai's eyes and she felt her chest clench, the hole in her chest becoming even bigger. It flared with pain and she felt like she was going to collapse any moment. She couldn't breathe, but she forced herself to do so, trying to keep any emotion she could hidden... She couldn't afford to lose control of herself in public.

His question threw her off. She raised an eyebrow, confused at what he was trying to ask.

"I.... I don't understand.... what you're trying to ask..." she said slowly.

[Faye]

Maybe he should have just said his name. He glanced at the ground, searching for the right words, wondering whether or not he could say it out loud. He mainly wondered if he should even bring it up, she was already in enough pain as it was, she didn't need him going on about how much she meant to him and how he wouldn't ever reject her like that...

He'd always be there.

But he had to tell her. "Kyerin... Why..?" He asked again, adding one extra word in there, she would know now. He just wanted to know why Kyerin was such a better choice.

[Nicolette]

Haruka stopped breathing for a moment and her eyes widened a bit as she took a hesitant step back. She froze, unable to speak or do anything but stare in horror at the fact that Rai had heard her speaking with their leader, sharing her feelings for him only to be turned down. The sound of Kyerin's name sent horrible pain right down to her chest and she forced herself to look away from Rai.

She was silent, unable to say anything. How could she explain this to him, especially after their moments together on Friday? She felt moisture gather in her eyes and she quickly brought her hand up to wipe her eyes before any tears could slip past. She couldn't lose herself yet...

"....I cannot say..." she whispered.

It was the truth. She had no way to explain it to the boy. She simply couldn't tell him why she revealed her feelings to Kyerin. It just happened and it was a horrible mistake. He rejected her and now all those years of admiring him felt like they were for nothing... She simply just wasn't good enough.

At that thought, another wave of tears came to her eyes and she turned her back to Rai, trying to keep her face hidden.

"I... I suddenly feel very ill... I... I think I'm going to skip the rest of my classes and go to my dormitory room..." She didn't care if Student Council gave her detention for ditching classes. She needed to get back to the dormitory, especially before Faye would even think of getting there.

[Faye]

The moment he saw how she reacted, Rai regretted even bringing it up, he knew he should have kept his feelings to himself, he knew he should of left her to mend before he even thought about telling her. How could he be so selfish? But he just wanted her to know how he felt...

He saw the tears in her eyes and he immediately shot over to her, his arms gingerly wrapping around her form in a gentle hug, "Haru-chan, I'm sorry... that I brought it up, I just... I wanted to.. know.." He knew she would probably try break free of his hold but he wanted to.. comfort her. Around her, his mood would always flicker back to this, no matter what else he felt, he would always be there...

[Nicolette]

Haruka felt him wrap his arms around her from behind and her hand loosened on her briefcase until it dropped the short distance to her feet. She slowly brought her hands up to gently grip his arms that were wrapped around her, but only to draw him closer to her.

They stood like this for a long while before Haruka stepped forward, breaking the embrace. She picked up her fallen briefcase and kept her back to him as she spoke.

"I... I'll see you later..."

She sounded weary and tired.

[Faye]

Rai's eyes widened as he felt her pull him closer, gripping his arms as he hugged her gently from behind. He gave her a gentle squeeze, resting his head on hers, his face half buried in her hair. He smelled the sweet scent of lavender, a smile tugging on his lips but he quickly remembered their situation which pulled at his heart.

"Okay... but please... take care of yourself.." He whispered softly to her, their embrace breaking, his hands slowly slid down her soft, smooth skin, briefly touching her fingers before his arms fell to his sides again. He gave her a weak smile but he knew he should offer to walk her back but he had a feeling she wanted to be alone.

[Nicolette]

"Y...yeah..." Haruka said hesitantly before she started down the hall.

Once she was out of the school building, she broke out into a fierce run. She hated physical activity, but she wouldn't be able to last much longer. She was so close to her breaking point...

It didn't take her long to get to the lobby of the girls' dormitory. She ignored the curious glances of the dormitory workers as she ran right for the stairwell, ignoring the elevator. She ran up multiple flights of stairs before she finally made it up to her floor. She slowed her pace as she pulled her backpack off and reached inside for her keys. She pulled them out and shoved her key into the lock, violently unlocking the door. Once unlocked, she jerked the door open and thrust herself inside.

Slamming the door behind her and locking it, she went to her bedroom, where she shut the door and locked it as well. She closed her curtains to her room (something she rarely did) and turned on a small lamp next to her bed. She threw her laptop under her bed before she pulled open her night stand drawer. She pulled out a small box and when she pulled it open, she lifted a single razor blade. It was clean, seeing as there was a bottle of rubbing alchohol sitting in the night stand as well.

She sat back against her bed, leaning back as she took in a deep breath. She pulled up the sleeve of her uniform, looking over the various scars that had already been left. Finding a clear spot, she brought the blade to her wrist and slowly drew it across. She did this three times before the cut began to bleed freely. She shut her eyes, tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

This scar would be a reminder of what would happen if she really liked someone... So she wasn't allowed to make the same mistake.

She shook, sobs wracking her body as she dropped the blade onto her night stand and cried.

However, by the time Faye returned home from classes that evening, Haruka was sitting at the kitchen counter, hunched over her computer. She wore a tank top underneath Rai's jacket, a pair of PJ pants covering her thin legs. She pushed her glasses up as she worked hard, pretending nothing was wrong...

[Thread Closed]